.

dear blog,

i am very excited about these things:

• atp next weekend
• christmas
• mine and al's TOP SECRET PLAN (it's not really top secret)
• LOST final season starting soon
  
• buying a new camera
• finishing the scarf i have been knitting
  

lots of love, em

i am lame

i haven't looked at this in AGES...hence not replying to the "where are you?"
i feel like i haven't had much spare time at the moment online, what with only being able to use the internet in the internet cafe. but that is sorted now.
i think i have changed my settings to get notifications of a blog now, which i didn't do before.

still undecided about Glastonbury...it cost me about 500 pounds last year (no exaggeration) so i'm not sure whether i can justify it this year. i want to go....but i don't want to get into loads of debt for it.

where are you lisa?

i haven't spoken to you for nearly 2 weeks :(((

spiders!

OMG there are LOADS of spiders around at the moment!

apparently september / october is when they mate; and this year boffins are saying conditions are rad for spiders so we should expect to see record numbers.

owhhhh. i'm seeing one pretty much every day at the moment :( they creep me out a lot. silly, i know but i can't help it. i saw the biggest spider i have EVER seen last week - it was HUGE. my dad had to come and put it outside. yes, i'm 27 and being rescued from spiders by my dad! although it takes me about half an hour i can usually manage to get a glass over it and put it outside (obvs i don't hurt them, that would be mean) but this one was just too big!

oh oh oh and the other day when graham was round one was on my hand so i shook it off and ran down the stairs and then freaked out for a bit.

Glastonbury 2010

Tix on sale 4th October.

I think I'm buying myself one... :-)

Dear Julian Casablancas,

Please hurry up and put details on your website of how and when i can pre-order 'phrazes for the young' and also what uk dates you will be playing.

love Em xoxo

ps i'm still available if you and your wife ever split up.

My love and seething hatred relationship with facebook when trying to close my account...

SO. It has taken me all day to try to close down Facebook.

The people behind it make it almost impossible to delete your information. When trying to find out how I could delete my Wall information (posts, status updates, photo upload info etc) I found that Facebook offers no facility to delete the Wall. Therefore, you have to delete each tiny update individually. I had two and a half years' worth of actions on my Wall. This has taken me hours. There is no point in just taking the easy option and using the "disable Wall" option, as then there would be absolutely no reason for closing the account. The info would still be in tact, sitting on their systems.

Not only this, Facebook seems crafty. Every time it says I have no more wall posts left, it has actually kept a stash of them hidden that it hasn't enabled me to delete. This has happened at least ten times when I have logged back in to see IF, this time, my Wall is empty. A glitch in the system or just Facebook being utter arseholes and wanting to keep information?....I don't know.

Having said all this, closing down Facebook has not been an easy thing to do - emotionally, that is. I have spent the day looking through a log of my past two and a half years. It is like an online diary....reading through it, I was reminded of so many past times that I had forgotten about. I read a post from Em, saying that she missed me "more than words can say" when I was travelling around Asia. There were so many other memories that I wiped....posts of friends asking me whereabouts I was in Thailand because they wanted to meet up with me; of Tom telling me that 2009 "will be the best year yet. Last year was amazing, but this year will be even better"; of me and Ali on our travel adventure, living the dream (and wanting to kill each other, but still living OUR dream); of drunken nights in Brighton and barbeques down the beach; of me and Laurence keeping track of our score in our pool competition (though I am still not sure who actually won); of my friend Paul informing me that India is full of "yoghurt weavers"; of old friendships that have now faded away, like that of mine and Ali's American friend Joe, who informed me on my Wall that he was going to write me a list of reasons why I am an "instigator". And then I was reminded of the old features on Facebook years ago - The Graffiti we used to do, the gifts we used to give each other. (Richie Gladman: "Thanks for my pencil, Butler." Em: "Here's a cat in a bag. I don't know why. Facebook is weird.")

So giving up Facebook hasn't been a breeze like I thought it would be. It has actually brought tears to my eyes - nothing has been able to log my friendships better than that website. And I know that I will lose a lot of friendships from closing my account because they won't stand the new "virtual" distance.

But it is the right thing to do. It would be hypocritical of me to support fat cat neo-conservative free trade bastards. And then there is the fact that companies that I HATE have bought into being able to get the public's information for their own gain, whilst wrecking the world for those less fortunate than ourselves. (Though she says this whilst writing on a blogging site owned by Google....hmmmmmmm.)

I was going to delete my Myspace too, but that really WOULD be the end of an era, and I can't bring myself to do it yet....I may break down in tears! The time will come. Just not yet.

drunks vs geriatrics / some blogs i like

so i was on the bus the other day and this couple (man and woman) of old drunks got on and well everybody moved towards the back of the bus because they smelled and looked dirty and no one wanted to sit next to them. the dude fell on the poor care in the community woman sat at the front; she, of course, freaked out. then the drunks sat on the side facing seats at the front. THEN this old dude dressed smartly starts yelling at the drunks calling them CUNTS and ranting on about how they are a disgrace. at first the woman was yelling back (the man was just kind of staring like he wasn't sure of his own name let alone wtf was going on) but then the old smart dude got all up in their faces and started punching them both in the face! eek! it was bizarre because they were like comedy slow-mo punches. BUT THEN he hit the dude on the head with his walking stick. FINALLY the driver intervened and made the smart dude get off, but the drunk woman had already kind of run off the bus. after he'd been kicked off, but before the drunk dude had got off the bus (he was just kind of staring and swaying) the smart guy HOOKED HIS WALKING STICK AROUND THE WOMAN'S NECK. not even joking. then he walked off with blood coming from his nose (i think he must have hit himself). the drunk guy got off too. meanwhile the care in the community woman had pissed herself.

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have you folded ross kemp's face yet? http://kempfolds.blogspot.com/

and would you look at this fucking hipster? http://www.latfh.com/

Um...

I can't really think of what to say about this. But it's definitely worth a look...

Odder than "Hannah Montana Linux x86 Edition"...

I am no longer vegetarian...

I am now vegan. I know that immediately this labels me in most people's eyes, but I can't help that.

I don't expect you to cook meals for me any more, Ali, Em or Mart! My reason for this change is because I realise that I have been living naively for four years...."free range" or "organic" do not mean "cruelty-free". They are labels that conjure up images of animals running free, but in reality they are money-spinning ideas where torture is still allowed as a law. The life of a dairy cow is a really miserable one - and then she gets slaughtered for fast food, anyway. I was a bit stupid to think that any "organic" food that the big supermarkets sold would originate from small, happy farms. I realised today, when I was at the train station, that I can no longer buy any snacks. No chocolate bars, no sandwiches. But this will save me money!

If you want to see the reasons why I have become vegan, google Earthlings the film. I think you can even view the whole horrific thing on youtube. You would not believe what we let happen behind closed doors. If you were aware, you wouldn't play a role in this cruelty.

I don't understand how people like to live in ignorance.

"why don't they just grab his balls?"

i miss glastonbury. it was over too quickly. and i miss you lis :( ryanair should have a sale soon and as soon as they do i will book my flights. i think i have 2 weeks off work at the end of next month.

also, i am going to atp 10 years weekend - do you guys want to come?

(sickface)

i was on the bus to work this morning and i felt really sick and then i thought i might actually vom so i had to get off the bus five stops before my stop. i think i'm sick from excitement.

For Em

Kreuzberg

Today Naomi and I went for a walk from Rough Kreuzberg (my preferred part of town) to Posh Kreuzberg, stopping off to sit at the river. I fed the swans a whole half-loaf of bread I had bought. They were eating it out of my hand and nearly made my fingers bleed...I don't know why ducks are more adept at eating from a hand than swans. Then we went to one of the abandoned buildings on a list of 'urban exploration sites' I have found. It's an old brewery in Posh Kreuzberg and I had seen photos of the inside on the internet. BUT we couldn't get inside at all - padlocks everywhere and bricked up doors and windows. We got through the fences, dodged the security guard in his little hut....but just couldn't get in. The place is typical of what is becoming of Berlin............the old being swallowed up by.................GENTRIFICATION (hahah, Tom, I bet you knew that word was coming). The building is being converted into awful new flats. I bet I will go there in six months and barely recognise the place. But, anyway, it was a great discovery, hidden right in the heart of town.

P.S. I don't think this blog site makes it all that clear that I share this page with two of my friends......so I don't have a love for Linux (that's obviously Martin writing that), and I don't have an even greater love for someone called Jimmy McNulty or a new tattoo (Em!)

P.P.S. It may be apparent that I am always wearing the same clothes in photographs.........that is because I am DOWN AND OUT IN BERLIN and will be writing a better sequel to Orwell's crappy book of a similar title.

The sad tale of Alice and Kev

So the basic idea is this, someone has made himself homeless characters on the Sims 3 and is watching what they do.

It's actually strangely moving.

:(

This is the link

Linux thought

One of the reasons I use and advocate Linux is that it's fun.

This might sound odd (or just very geeky) to some, but there is a constant stream of good humour which runs through the Linux world which is far removed from the marketing and media obsessed proprietary alternatives.

I thought of that today when I found the new Linux kernel (2.6.30) is named "Man-Eating Seals of Antiquity". For no reason, other than it's funny...

In other news - an email today read "A staff photograph has been requested by Classical Music Magazine [...] Please could everyone please make sure they are on time and appropriately dressed."

Must make sure my hair is appropriately insane. Wonder where I put my nuts Goth shirt...

some things

hi dudes,

i've been on a training course for the last two days and the lady trainer reminded me of clarissa dickson-wright...you know, the blonde(ish) one from 'two fat ladies'. except she wasn't as fat, or old, nor did she look a bit like a dude. well she reminded me of a cross between her and my old manager. as in previous manager, not geriatric manager. duh. interestingly (questionable) clarrisa dickson-wright's full name, according to wikipedia is: Clarissa Theresa Philomena Aileen Mary Josephine Agnes Elsie Trilby Louise Esmerelda Dickson Wright. amazing. sometimes i think i'd like to change my name by deedpoll, but i don't know what i'd change it to. something fun. also, (i'm really not obsessed with CDW) clarissa was the youngest woman ever to be called to The Bar.



it's only two and a half weeks until glastonbury. i'm pretty excited. lis i can't wait to see you <3 (i was thinking as well that i'd come out to berlin at the beginning of august???) i need to get some new wellies as a boy i was seeing last year didn't give mine back. i need a new waterproof too - i think i might spend some dollar and get a decent one. idk. the cheapo ones without lining tend to just STICK to you when it rains. which it will obvs.

The Literal Video trend....

Latest fad to sweep the internet is the "Literal Video". The first of these was Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart (Literal video version) which you can see here:

This video

Like any of these bandwagons there's a lot of rubbish ones out there but I did enjoy.

Losing my religion

and where would any good Internet meme be without this being involved...

A delightful surprise

my new job

i really want to blog about my new job but seeing as i'm a civil servant i'm totally paranoid that somehow someone might read it and i'd get into trouble! (same thing with gordon brown / the labour party / the election / the cabinet resignations / expenses scandal etc.) BUT work is cool and everyone seems nice. i have a swipe card that i have to wear around my neck and use to get through the doors. it makes me feel cool - a bit like i'm in an episode of 24; i'm hoping they'll introduce thumbprint scanning soon. lol. oh there's this club thing i can join to get cheap EVERYTHING (cinema tickets, holidays...um and loads of other cool things i can't remember). i have to go on a course next week about KEEPING SAFE and what to do if people get angry. i can progress and get promoted too.

i don't like getting up at 6:30am. i AM looking forward to PAYDAY.

Folk Ale. Does what it says on the tin...

So this weekend I switched off my laptop on the Friday afternoon, caught a train to god-knows-where, met my my mate Mr Ed at East Croydon (who'd brought his bike in rush-hour which made us very popular indeed) and then walked up a hill from Nowhere; heading towards the middle.

It was a pub. Behind which was a field where I put my tent. There were Folk.

Folk with fiddles, bagpipes, melodeons, guitars, accordions, barbeques, spiced rum, dogs, camper vans, brightly-coloured clothing, juggling toys and children.

There was Folk Music in a marquee. There was Ale...

The first night I drank too much Ale. Not a quantity I'd normally assume to be too much, but after walking up a hill with a heavy backpack and tent in the sunshine it was too much for my poor addled body to cope with. The night was fun, lively and ended early - I was laughed at in the morning for my grumpy response to the suggestion I should wake up and drink Rum and Coke at 2.30 am...

The next morning dawned bright and baking hot in my tent. Friends tried to fire me up with instant cappuccino and offered (to me) stomach-turning bacon and sausage rolls. But as I pottered painfully amongst the revellers I had my mind on a harder, and more urgent mission. To combat the painful effects of horrific dehydration and make my way to the station and back before my friend's band played at 1pm.

A mission I succeeded in! Past the interested cows on the way down the hill, meeting Marie and my dog Sally at the bottom of the hill, being handed (yet another) heavy backpack and ascending the uphill mile once again in the blazing heat.

Marie met the Folk. I retired to my tent to combat the effects of the Ale.

By early evening I was once again able to move and we had an evening of music, fun and old pals. Sally was fractious - her normally chilled out demeanour stressed by the people and, more specifically, the two ferrets who were wandering about on leads. She also had a good bark at the bagpiper - which seems only fair.

The night passed, and the next day wandered cheerfully in the sun as people packed their cars and slowly said goodbyes. Music was still drifting in a lively fashion from the marquee as we picked up our bags and strolled happily down the hill...

stewed, screwed and tattooed?

definitely not 'screwed, blued and tattooed' because i haven't enlisted in the navy. not really 'stewed' and 'screwed' either because i have nothing to stew on (that's the meaning, right?). i'm pleased summer is coming (even though i need to diet like crazy before i no longer fit in a size 10. cos that would SUCK omglol (it would though)) and glastonbury is now less than a month away. it's pretty rad i'll be celebrating my birthday at glastonbury huh? makes the idea of turning 27 more bearable that's for sure! it's cool we'll all get to be together (mart you are RUBBISH). this year i want to buy some cheese ok? i love cheese.

so yeah, not stewed. and not screwed either tbh. which is inevitable considering all i have been doing lately is sitting on my arse playing xbox, eating crisps and watching The Wire (i've watched it all now >SADFACE<).

but i AM tattooed. i got the 'j'aime' on my wrist to signify that i still like/love a lot, and it's important to be positive about stuff. and in french because i love french and it may help me meet a french boy (lolntrly). my friend/tattooist is designing my half-sleeve with the ideas i gave him, and is also working on adding to the one on my back. COOL. i'm a bit worried my new work wont like the half sleeve idea...but if it's a real problem i will have it on my thigh instead.



i start my proper job on wednesday. it's going to be SO GOOD to be earning some proper money again!

oh and guys if you don't start blogging this runs the risk of me just rambling on about boys, the wire, all things french and cheese. i plan to include some music too but only as a treat.

:D

dear blog

tonight at work i was chatting to this hot boy with a beard. he told me to come over the road and have a drink when i finished but i wussed out. i did tell him i'm working tomorrow though. but he lives up north. sucks.

eurodance fantastisch

Lis this is for you. I bought this when I went to Germany on a school exchange age 14! I have no idea what my parents thought of this!



When I come to visit can we go to clubs that will play lots of trashy eurodance?!

I don't know why but this made me smile.


I'll blog more when I'm not drowning in work... sigh...

I totally fancy Jimmy McNulty

Over the last few weeks I have become utterly addicted to The Wire. Not just because I fancy Jimmy McNulty (which I totally do) but because it's ace. There are already a gazillion blogs about The Wire and why you should watch it, but this isn't going to turn into one of those - as the title says it's about how dreamy McNulty is. He's selfish, has no respect for the rules, drinks too much and is a bit of a womanizer....but I love him.

berlin berlin berlin...home for now

I have lived in Berlin for almost two months. One of the things I like the most is whenever I turn the radio on there is always a really bad 80s song that you'd never hear again in England...though I feel sorry for my flatmates when I am singing in the shower. Another perk of living in Berlin is that the gigs that would sell out in London are easy to get tickets for. Also, Berlin is a city of dog lovers, which almost makes it my ideal place.

I live in Neukoelln, which my Rough Guide guidebook describes as an area where it is wise to "work out beforehand exactly where you're going so that you don't look lost and vulnerable." The area is quite safe, though. So far I have only seen one gang who were carrying batons and broken bottles, but I don't think that's representative of a typical day here. Neukoelln is mostly middle eastern, so one of the perks is being able to buy falafel at 4am. I live with two German guys (it's always easier to live with men!) The BIG problem about my flat is that there is a brothel just opposite my bedroom window. Berlin is getting very hot as summer approaches so the brothel tends to have its windows open in the night. I constantly come home to hear screams of prostitutes having sex, or hear the groans of the men who are paying for the services. I am considering writing them a note to tell them to keep the noise down! Another downside to my area is the amount of dog shit on the street. It is best to keep your eyes firmly on the ground if you're walking in Neukoelln.

There are lots of differences between Berlin and London. So many Berlin residents have an idealised image of London, and I really do think that they will dislike it if they ever live there. Berlin has a lot less people and a lot more space, for a start. The trains are never busy in rush hour...in fact, I don't in think there IS a rush hour! On a normal day in Berlin you might go to a park, watch people playing instruments, or juggling or playing the diablo. Yesterday my friend, Jake, invited me to meet his friends and we sat in the park whilst his friends DJed on decks and people drank beer and danced. London is a city consumed by capitalism, whereas Berlin still has areas that are yet to be ruined by chain stores or mass advertising campaigns. Where London has an apathy towards politics, Berlin has a passion. London is run by greed, and it is a city where people strive for ephemeral consumer-shite. I think I have moved to this city at an interesting time.....there is certainly change, where areas such as Kreuzberg have seen their first McDonalds and Subway opening up (though not without a fight), but there's also a feeling of discontent about these changes. There are constant protests, meetings, demonstrations. It seems that people CARE here.

Which brings me onto MAY DAY and my experience of the Kreuzberg protests. I went with my friend Naomi, who was just as excited as me to join the demonstrations (though our random German punk friends had to translate the anti-capitalist, anti-fascist speeches). We experienced riot-police, we got tear-gassed, we had to hide in a station - it was a pretty violent day. Obviously a lot of the carnage was unnecessary, but what an experience. I learnt about the Black Bloc, who are far-left activists who dress totally in black as a form of solidarity and who tend to use violence in protests like this.

Here is a video of our May Day experience. We were sheltering in the station in the background when much of this footage was shot. It's very interesting, and very brief, so please watch it.

www.spiegel.de/video/video-1000573.html

I have been dancing to a lot of electronic music here. You will have a miserable time living in Berlin if you can't dance to techno or drum n bass (though I draw the line at house music). It is also usual to go to a club at 3am, so most nights out end at sunrise (or later, if you've got more energy than me, or take drugs).

Germans are easy to get to know and I have made some solid friends. I don't quite understand the Berlin paranoia of believing that everyone is spying on you ("I don't have a facebook account" or "please don't take my photo" or "gmail is scanning your personal information.") Maybe it is because half of Berlin WAS spied on for years when the wall was in tact. Of course, my friends are probably correct and through blogs like this, or facebook, we are making it easy for our Governments to keep their beady eyes on us, but I can't help feeling that in being that paranoid you are missing out on fun, on communicating with friends, on sharing photos and opinions. Really, I don't think any higher authority is actually very interested in what I am doing and who I am doing it with!

Lastly, I would like to ask my friends to visit! Please don't be put off by my description of my area if you want to come.....if you stay for a couple of days you can easily avoid stepping in dog shit, and I can even tell the prostitutes to shut their windows for you!

Things found in the street

I saw this in the street on 'bin day' this week. Haha can you imagine the look on the toy owner's face when she came out of her house and realised it had come out of the rubbish bag? Obvs no one would know but still I bet her face flushed.

This morning I saw a washing up bowl full of sick in the middle of the pavement. I didn't take a photo; I kinda wish I had.